Endpoints ~moments of serenity~

Long-forgotten minutes of sentiments,
the words, humored...
but the echoes will ring in your ears.

The bliss of seeing you again,
feeling your joy,
a genuine smile...
is this what it feels like
to really be welcome?

And the noise:
roaring chatter and laughter...
yet the silence is so deafening.
Being happy, being together,
for fun's sake.

Was that ever so?
Will I ever get the chance?
It makes me wonder...

And then the wail of the banshee:
that pang of jealousy
when they get to hold your hands
in front of my eyes,
when they get to kiss your lips
in front of my naked eyes...

Is it in the situation?
Or is it in you?
Envy, for seeing you in a way
I never see myself?
Or jealousy, for that other one
not being me?

Do you know?
Have you any idea?

Do they connect?
Yesterday and today,
today and tomorrow?
Back there and right here?
Clanging steps in an empty corridor
in the depths of my soul,
and fear of heights that
you make me soar into?
Or are they but
an endless sequence of balances?