The candy is hard, but where's Madonna?

Hard Candy 350

Well, after all the time spent with avoiding any and all possible spoilers, including deliberately NOT listening to or even watching 4 Minutes either, today was the day - I got to this piece of candy at long last. Of course I was damn excited, I loved every ounce of Confessions, together with the extra tracks and remixes and the tour, and I've expected nothing less. That is, until I learnt whom she'd be working together... and sadly, my fears were not too much unjustified.

On one hand, I've been sceptical about Justin. No offense, but I just can't stand him, a ~made~ star with an annoyingly high-pitched voice, pushing the relationships theme in such a sexist way that could compete any standard black rapper... yikes. On the other hand, Timbaland has been okay in my books, got the talent and all; true tho that even he turned a bit shallow lately. And basically that was all I knew about the album and nothing more.

Then there came the 411 on the Special Edition, containing TWO REMIXes. x_x Whyyyyyyyy??? I swear, it's a headache for me: get the Japanese import without the special wrapping but containing the extra track, or the special ed without the extra track? Hmph. Minus one point. '>_> Pondering that, I looked up the tracklist on Wiki... and the first thing was: wtf's with these titles??? Candy Shop, Give It 2 Me, Heartbeat, She's Not Me, Beat Goes On, Spanish Lesson, Voices - just the ones that made me think immediately, cuz it was just too much on one album that I've already seen, or at least made those ripples on the surface of my mind's quiet lake. Not to mention two other names: Kanye and Danja. ... Er, alright, no prejudices, that's just wrong, let's listen to it first. Well, I did...  didn't intend to compare each of the tracks to other ones tho, but I can't help it, this album contains just too many vague, or not-so-vauge references for me, that it's starting to give me a buzz in the back of my mind.
Candy Shop - um, is that a cheap ($0.5...) knock-off? ... No, wait, it starts rather like Give It To Me ... er, the Timbs+Nelly+Justin one, I mean ... and that tick-tocking is just TOO Hung Up, almost painfully ... and that's it, basically, frankly, I still have no idea what to make of this track. o_O And this is just one such.

4 Minutes - Okay, track time is almost exactly 4 mins, yeah, nice pun ... aaaaand? What more? Nothing, really. Like an uptempo version of Hey You, but this one doesn't even really make a point, much less any coherent lyrics. Why on earth make a single and video of this one, I can't understand.

Give It 2 Me - Just good. ^_^ Third track on the album, first one that caught me for the very first time I heard it. Prolly the slight Music Inferno aftertaste has something to do with it (one of my favorite of the Confessions Tour *_*), but WHO CARES?! Tis great, go party! ^_^ Wondering about why this title again... x_x

Heartbeat - or is it Heartbeat Rock by Kylie? Couldn't tell easily, apart from the title, the two songs also partially shares some basic tunes/rhythm I think, so, er....?

Miles Away - no comment; another of those I've no idea what to do with. *shrugs*

She's Not Me - is it me, or does this really play some (unintentional?) pun on Robbie Williams's (idk-wtf-to-do-with-it-) She's Madonna track? ... Oh well, nvm, again a slight Music Inferno tinge in the background, making it somewhat okay. ^.^"

Incredible - see Miles Away.

Beat Goes On - Eugh. I fled from Kanye's Daft Punk mix as well, so not surprisingly ... just one thing: WHY?! x_x

Dance 2night - see Incredible.

Spanish Lesson - to be honest, I liked Spanish Eyes much better. A friend of mine said for Push of Confessions that it's too forced and thus just horrible: well, I think I now know what she felt when she said that... :/

Devil Wouldn't Recognize You - well, my first thought was rather Mariah Carey when I first heard this ... but then somehow it didn't sound all that bad compared to some of the other flavors of this candy. So, okay I guess.

Voices - idk if anyone remembers a song of the same title by a certain Ann Lee (don't think so), back from the nineties, but yeah, despite of the totally different tunes and rhythm, I did get the same feeling upon listening to it. Is it good? Still on my to-do list to decide.

Overall ... well, Her Highness said that she wanted her last release by Warner to be a big hit. And also that she thought about what music she listened to lately, what she fancied, and then came up with the idea of working together with the people she did eventually. With all due respect Madge, you yourself said that too that it was kinda strange, since you were used to working on your own - maybe just do so next time, please. Getting inspiration is one thing, but when the uniqueness, the individual is sacrificed on that altar, it just does no good. Too many "I've heard this before" impression in this ~56 minutes: way too repetitive; not to mention I can't find Madonna among Timbs and Justin and Kanye and Danja and co (like Britney and Nelly). If I'm allowed one more comparison: I felt a bit like with Mariah's latest release. Both E=MC2 and Hard Candy wants to be a continuation of their predecessors, but all in all, while I absolutely loved every minute of both Emancipation of Mimi and Confessions On A Dance Floor, I simply don't see the point of the "successors".

Maybe it'd be better for Madonna to leave the dancefloor AND the mainstream profit-oriented electronic music as well for the next studio release, and give us some more opinionated, more meaningful content. ... Or just an unplugged acoustic something, which is still a dream of mine; and some slower ballads that I've been missing since Ray Of Light.